There is only so much bandwidth

It is worth remembering that our minds have limited capacity to deal with problems.

Big problems take up a lot of bandwidth. So areas of our minds that should be available for thinking, concentrating, and delivering performance at home and at work become tied up working over the problem.

With complicated problems like bereavement or the complications around a divorce, this can go on for a long time.

While we are caught up with the problem we may have problems sleeping, we may be distracted from other important relationships and tasks, our performance is likely to suffer.

Some problems, serious life changing problems take a lot of time and work to adjust to. People are often surprised when I speak about psychotherapy as work, but that is what it is.

We get used to wanting quick solutions to problems but that may not be realistic in these difficult situations. In cases like this it is down to us to learn how to live and work with the position we find ourselves in.