How do I change myself?

An article in the Big Issue (Feb 13-19 2017) explores the question of whether; you can change yourself by looking within to find the truth you find there, or, by selecting aspects of your character that you recognise and don’t like? The article is in favour of the second option. Pick what you want to change about yourself and change it. If you can do this you may be able to enjoy better relationships and so on.
Reading it, I found myself thinking that though there might be good sense in the idea that we can selectively change things we don’t like about ourselves. In reality it is very difficult to do these kind of things on your own. I think that generally it is only through working with someone, through being in relationship and through understanding yourself through the experience of the relationship, that you can start to see and change things about yourself and the way you live. ┬áTo my mind psychotherapy and counselling is where such working relationships exist.