Often the key problem we struggle with is how to deal with disappointment. The highs and successes that come our way are great but there aren’t always very many of them. It is the setbacks that bother us more and … Read More
Anger is an Energy, John Lydon’s autobiography I haven’t read the book yet but I think the title makes an important point; anger is an energy. We tend to give anger a bad press, we put it in a rather … Read More
Some moods are not only difficult and unpleasant things to experience, they are also very hard to think about. Certain moods, while powerful and disabling, often cut us off from company because it feels hard if not impossible to find … Read More
If your internal world default is set to critical rather than tolerant, then challenges and achievements quickly become reasons to be self-critical rather than being things to be enjoyed. Your life may be full of achievements but you are just … Read More
A death cannot be told as a single story, everyone involved loses someone in a different way. These losses cannot be shared, instead the bereaved find themselves adrift upon different currents. “One of the consequences of my bereavement was that … Read More
The current emphasis on quick fix solutions, be that for counselling and psychotherapy, for diets or for exercise programmes is understandable but misleading. It is part of a cultural movement like Instagram and Twitter. Whereas one can be bullish about … Read More
Our moods are like psychic staging posts, we are drawn back to them. They are the points where our lives took particular turns. They are our personal truths, the events that shaped us, the memories and feelings that we return … Read More
Feeling you have to keep your true feelings to yourself, when you are in the company of others, can be exhausting, depressing and dispiriting. With family it can feel like there is no possibility of speaking your mind openly, that … Read More
Why are boundaries in counselling important? One of the key values of the psychodynamic approach is the clear focus on the importance of boundaries in counselling. It may not be necessary to say too much about the importance of boundaries … Read More
Ordinarily, the child’s developing internal world and sense of himself should be protected, encouraged and nurtured by his primary caretakers. When this does not happen, or when the primary caretakers are infact provocative, attacking and aggressive towards the child, then … Read More